an email from a man's perspective point of view

75 lessons that MUST be learned in relationships


1. If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If
he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.

2. Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.

3. If you have ANY doubt in your mind about a man's
character, leave him alone.

4. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from
heartache.

5. Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship
that's not meant to be.

6. Don't force an attraction.

7. Slower is better.

8. Never live your life for a man before you find what
makes you truly happy.

9. If a relationship ends because the man was not
treating you as you deserve then heck no you can't "be
friends." A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.

10. Have faith in God regarding your relationship, but
don't let faith make you stupid. God does things
decent and in order.

11. Don't settle.

12. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then
he probably is.

13. If he keeps changing his mind about the
relationship--take that as a BIG sign that he is
unstable. Do you really want to be with a man like
that?

14. Don't stay because you think "it will get better."
You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying
when things are not
better.

15. Honorable men take care of their business and
aren't involved in a whole lot of mess.

16. The only person you can control in a relationship
is you.

17. There's only one 'reason' a man dumps you; he
doesn't want you.

18. Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a
bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he
got them pregnant,
why would he treat you any differently?

19. You really do have to kiss a few frogs before
finding the prince.

20. Always put yourself and your happiness first.

21. Always have your own set of friends separate from
his.

22. Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If
something bothers you, speak up.

23. Like from the show Sex and the City, if he doesn't
call, he just isn't that interested.

24. Be honest and upfront.

25. Know when to cut the cord, don't be strung along.

26. Don't fall for the "I'm confused role". Remove
yourself from the situation to let him figure things
out (but don't wait for him, move on).

27. If you want to have a clue as to how he will treat
you, watch how he treats the WOMEN in his family (not
just mom).

28. There's more than physical abuse, there's
emotional and mental abuse. If he causes any of
them...flee.

29. You cannot change a man's behaviors. Change comes
from within.

30. Don't let him place rules on you that he is not
willing to follow himself -- double-standard.

31. Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than
you are...even if he has more education or in a better
job.

32. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man,
nothing more nothing less.

33. Demand respect and if he can't give it, he can't
have you!

34. Don't compete with other woman, but be aware that
men are attracted to what they see.

35. If you think he is cheating, he probably is.
Confront him right away and if you feel he's lying,
let him go.

36. Actions speak louder than words.

37. Never let a man define who you are.

38. Never rely on a man for compliments, look to
yourself for that.

39. Never borrow someone else's man.

40. If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.

41. Just because he says he loves you, doesn't mean
that he won't hurt you and it doesn't mean that you
are meant to be with
him.

42. To use painful hard-won wisdom -- 'get it right'
the next time.

43. Know that you deserve to be the number one person
in the life of the #1 person in your life.

44. Love is a verb ...

45. Learn to give up your lifelong task of trying to
make someone unavailable-available, someone
ungiving-giving, and
someone unloving-loving.

46. A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to
treat you.

47. All men are NOT dogs.

48. You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two way street.

49. If you don't love self...you can't love anyone else.

50. You cannot mend someone else's broken heart.

51. You need time to heal between
relationships...there is nothing cute about
baggage...deal with your issues before pursuing a new
relationship.

52. You should never look for someone to COMPLETE
you...a relationship consists of two WHOLE
individuals...look for someone complementary...not
supplementary.

53. Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be
Mr. Right.

54. NEVER give more in a relationship than you are
getting out of it.

55. Never become your man's "therapist".

56. When actions and words conflict, believe the
actions. Respond to the actions.

57. A real healthy relationship requires two people.
One person can end it - but it takes two to make it
work.

58. Don't fall for the "I'm not the loving
type"...when a man loves you there is nothing in this
world (within reason) that he
wouldn't do for you.

59. Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always
know where you are, and you're always readily
available to him he takes it for granted.

60. Give him his space...let him go out with his boys,
don't pressure him to spend time with you, You cant
force a man to hang out with you.

61. If you wouldn't allow your daughter to be with him
you shouldn't.

62. Never let a man know everything. He will use it
against you later.

63. Never move into his mother's house.

64. Provide financially for yourself and don't depend
on anyone.

65. Never co-sign for a man.

66. Never believe you have the perfect guy and he is
so innocent.

67. Never spoil your man; let him spoil you.

68. Never let a man mess up your credit.

69. When it's time to let go; let go.

70. Good men should be treated like good men.

71. Don't play games.

72. You can't make a whore into a housewife - or
husband.

73. Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you
everything that you need. Keep him in your radar but
get to know others.

74. Compatibility in terms of educational attainment,
values, beliefs, personal and career goals, and
socioeconomic status, are important.

75. Never date a guy who wears colored contacts. :p