good things

there are at least 3 good things that happened today that made me smile..

• nailabas ko na ang mejo matagal ko ng dinidibdib sa aking new found friend
• namiss din pala ako ng mga kaibigan ko
• natapos ko ang karamihan sa dapat kong gawin

at

• mejo napahinga na ako sa isa, bunga marahil ng unang magandang nangyari sa akin today, hehehe :D

di ko talaga hilig gumawa ng new year's resolution, but i'll try to make one for this year..

* engage in fitness activities (exercise, sports)
* babawasan ko na kalat sa room ko (ang hirap ata nun)
* enhance my artistic side (meron ba ako nun?)
* set my priorities and choose my friends more carefully

i was planning to make a year-ender post pero mukhang malabo na atang matupad iyun, dahil mahirap magcompose pag nasa netcafe ka lang.. howell.. ang masasabi ko lang, this year has been a colorful one. maraming nangyari, maraming pagsubok, marami ring natutunan. from friendship to love to family relationship, ang daming nangyari. maging sa mga pagtupad ng tungkulin.

new year's wish ko, sana the coming year will be a fruitful one, at sana ay patuloy ang patnubay at paggabay ng Ama. sana rin, dumating na ang tugon sa panata ko sa darating na taon.

new year's resolution ko? i'll try to make my room clatter-free, para di na kami magtatalo ni mom.

it's been awhile since i had updated my blog.. what's the latest? well.. i had told my supervisor that i won't be staying after my contract ends on january 31. my team manager asked me why i'm leaving. duh.. sya pa yung nagtanong.. anyway, i ask her if she wants me to be frank. then i told her that if the company can't give me internet access, which has the same cost to the company, whether we use it or not, what more if i asked for something monetary like salary or benefits. she then goes on the internet issue, saying that they are honing me to be this and that.. oh whatever.. then i said that that is just one of the reasons. the other is that the company doesn't offer any benefits for parents and my priority is my mom. this is just another way of putting what i really felt about the company. that, even though they are an international manufacturing company, their compensation are not that competitive compared to another companies, and that i can find another company that will give me the same, if not a better, compensation. this, i voiced out to our HR manager when he approached me. my supervisor once told me that company relationship should be give and take. i think i had given enough and they had taken enough. where is the counterpart of the package?

nagiging mayabang o ma-pride ba ako? ewan ko. pero ang alam ko, hiniling ko ito sa Ama bilang gabay kung ako ay dapat manatili sa kompanyang ito o dapat ng umalis.

ang tulay

wish ko lang, totoo ang kasabihang yung tulay at ang tinutulayan ang nagkakatuluyan, hehehe.. haaay buhay.. dakilang tulay ang papel ko ngayon.. pero di naman ako nagseselos sa gurl.. well, paminsan-minsan lang, hehehe.. wish ko lang di sila nag-iikot sa mga blogs at di nila mabasa itong blog ko.. howell...

A Man's looks..

When a man looks at you in a different way, dont assume anything. Never assume anything with a man unless clearly and directly spoken. It may not mean that he likes you, rather, he sees something he needs that you may be able to give, like contacts or information.


base from my experience

Mumu Day

i dont know if what i see is real, or my mind or eyes is playing tricks on me, or maybe, the reflection of the light did it. i was planning to take a picture of the view outside my hotel room, and remembered it on Tuesday, my 2nd morning in Thailand. I took my cam and went to my window. Nothing worth taking, but i still decided to take a picture of it. When i focused my camera, there's a ghost like figure standing below, but when i removed the camera, there was nothing. howeelll.. must be the light. still, i prayed hard and wasnt that comfortable with the room anymore. buti na lang at 2 tulog na lang ako d2, hehehe...

Thailand adventure

First Step at Thailand

Arrived at NAIA past 12 noon. Texted my 2 bestbuds, si sunget, my kuya here, ana & da king, and ganda that i'll be leaving. Boarded the plane (Thai Airways flight TG 621) around 130pm. The plane took off around 230pm, a few minutes late of the scheduled departure. During the 3-hour flight, what i did is took pictures of the land and the clouds, eat, talk to my boss, eat, watch TV, watch the clouds, and went to the toilet before landing (syemps, para maexperience ko rin ang toilet sa plane, wehehehe)

We arrived 430pm, Thai time, which is 1hr late of Phil time. Ito ang nakakatakot, para kaming si Ninoy na bumababa sa tarmac pagbaba ng plane. Syempre, minus the barilan, hehehe. Buti na lang at di ako sinumpong ng lula, na alam kong patnubay ng Ama. We took a bus to the departure area. (may sira ata dun sa airport ng Thailand kaya ganun).

We arrived at Siam City Hotel, a few minutes before 6pm. Oh, before i forgot, we changed our currency at the airport. Peso to baht is .50, kakagulat, grabe. Around 630p, (Thai Time), we went to Pantip, it's a mall where IT stuff are sold. My boss asked or rather verified directions with the hotel guard on how to get there. The guard said we should turn right at the corner, but my boss said that they turned left before so we followed his memory. Kaso, nagka-amnesia ata sya kaya mali kami ng napuntahan, hehehe.. ang layo ng nalakad namin, papunta sa maling route at pabalik, papunta ulet sa tamang route. Ang sakit ng paa at hita ko grabe! Wala pa kasing tiwala sa mga taga-rito e, hehehe.. siguro mga 2km din ang nalakad namin, or more. Pareho na kaming pawisan dahil mainit ang weather d2, mas mainit pa kesa sa Pinas. Unfortunately, I wasnt able to buy what I wanted kc mahal din ang price d2, mas mahal pa pag kinonvert to peso.

We ate dinner at KFC, and took a tax back to the hotel. The flagdown here is Bt35. Arrived at the hotel a few minutes before 10pm, pinas time. Finished accounting the day's events a few minutes before 11pm, pinas time.

Sorry if I confuse you with time zones, i still didnt adjust my watch to Thai time. Breakfast tomorrowat 7am, Thai time, need to be on the way to the office at 8am, Thai time. Gudnyt blog

wednesday, nov3
im already in the office at 6am.. magdedeploy kami ng project namin from our server to our singapore server (thru FTP at pcanywhere lang, sayang nga at di kelangang pumunta dun sa site e )

after lunch, super bc na ako dahil umalis na yung kasama ko nung 9am to attend to his medical requirements sa new employer nya, sinabihan ako ng net admin na pinatatanggalan daw ako ng net access ng team manager namin. hwaaattt!!! e di sige, wala naman akong magagawa, di ba? hmpf!

around 3pm, tumawag ang project manager namin na nasa singapore that time para maitest yung deployment namin at para na rin sa meetings ng iba pang projects..

sir: ano balita jan?
me: ok pa po ako.. ay, syanga pala, heto ang balita, tinanggalan na ako ng net access, mainit-init pa (with a laugh)
sir: sino nagtanggal?
me: si team manager
sir: si team manager? bakit daw?
me: ewan ko po
sir: (with a pause) o sige, wag muna nating isipin yun, yun munang deployment natin asikasuhin natin.
me: ok po.

wish ko lang maayos nga yun.. (not the deployment but my net access )

di rin ako nakasamba nung gabi as planned, dahil nag-extend pa ako sa office till 630.

saturday, nov6
im now renting here at an icafe sa me metropolis. kelangang magcheck ng emails at syempre, miss ko na itong ascii forum noh.. haaay.. ang hirap talaga ng walang net access, sana ay makabitan na kami ng landline


haaaay.. bukas na ang flight ko.. 244pm thai air.. forgot the flight #, di ko dala yung ticket e.. gud for me at maiiba ang ambiance (spell check) ko for the next 4 days.. sana ay maging ok din kalalabasan nitong trip namin..

let me rant

haaay naku.. i hate pressures (and who doesn't?) i also hate it when people don't follow schedules, and mess your schedule as well, creating pressure (domino effect huh). today, my officemate was supposed to orient me on what modules he has developed and was maintaining. but unfortunately, he didn't show up today. he can't orient me tomorrow either, because we will be installing the new version of our project, and the installation plan isn't finished yet. worse is if he won't show up again tomorrow. maybe, i'll just bother other team members and ask help on how to install this in the singapore server.

today, i have lots of free time, but i know that starting tomorrow, my sched will be super hectic, because i need to squeeze in what should be done today. howell.. that's life..

Reflection

i heard this song sang in Pinoy Pop Superstar, and somehow reflects me...

Christina Aguilera - Lyrics

Look at me
You may think you see
Who I really am
But you'll never know me
Every day
It's as if I play a part
Now I see
If I wear a mask
I can fool the world
But I cannot fool my heart

Who is that girl I see
Staring straight back at me
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside

I am now
In a world where I
Have to hide my heart
And what I believe in
But somehow
I will show the world
What's inside my heart
And be loved for who I am

Who is that girl I see
Staring straight back at me
Why is my reflection
Someone I don't know
Must I pretend that I'm
Someone else
For all time
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside

There's a heart that must be free to fly
That burns with a need to know the reason why

Why must we all conceal
What we think
How we feel
Must there be a secret me
I'm forced to hide
I won't pretend that I'm
Someone else
For all time
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside

nagkita rin kami ng bestfrend ko kahapon.. had lunch at yoshinoya sm north tapos ikot-ikot.. then, nagpunta sya sa amin to see my mom.. grabe, ang layo ng napadparan nya ha, hehehe.. we bought greenwich hawaiian pizza for merienda (spell check please)

niweys, its was fun.. sobrang dami ng wento and catching up on things :) im happy na nagkita kami, and that she's ok and happy din :)

its a bc week ahead... make that two weeks.. sana lang, matapos ko ang dapat tapusin for this week para di ako mag-cram next week.. at sana ay maging ok ang bonding namin ng boss ko next week.. at sana rin, next week e may halong pleasure sa work para bawas stress :D

noong wednesday, oct 27 ko lang nalaman.. biglaan.. nagresign pala ang kaofcmate ko at imbes na sya ang pupunta sa thailand ay ako na ang pupunta! yess!!! grabe, pressured lang dahil ang dami pang gagawin, pero its a challenge, and i know biyaya ito galing sa Ama :)

sa linggo na ang alis ko, nov 7.. di ko pa alam exact flight details but i might post the details here.. almost a week din kami dun.. sana e maging ok ang trip namin..

sana ay patuloy akong samahan ng Ama sa panibagong challenges na ito..

super saya at kilig ng EB last friday. medyo bitin lang pero not bad considering na unang EB yun ng grupo ;)

pagkauwi e di ako makatulog. mukhang super hyper at gising pa ang utak ko. di ko alam kung dahil sa frapp na nainom ko courtesy of daddy chair na dati naman ay walang epekto sa akin, o may nag-iisip sa akin, charing! hehehe..wish ko lang :D

as usual, my body clock woke me up at 6am the next day, naghanda na sa pagdalo sa Tanging Pagtitipon ng hapong iyon. kelangang umalis ng medyo maaga dahil di ko kabisado ang area, plus magmimit kami ni handsomest for lunch (na super late ng dumating, hmpf! :p) para sabay na ring dumalo sa pagtitipon.

after ng pagtitipon, di natuloy ang bestfrend ko na dapat ay pupunta sa haus so pagkauwi ay nagpahinga, at naghanda para sa pulong ng kalihiman sa gabi.

linggo: gumising ng maaga para dumalo sa pagsamba, naidlip sandali at sinamahang mamalengke si mommy, sa hapon naman balik kapilya para tumupad.

kanina, woke up at 6am para maghanda na papasok. ang unang bungad sa akin ng mommy ko ay bad news.. muntik na pala kaming looban kagabi. ngayon ay di ko alam kung ano ang dapat kong gawin.. nguni't nananampalataya akong patuloy Nya kaming iingatan.

thanks sa lahat ng bumati sa akin, super bc ang aking cell sa dami ng txt at fone calls :D thanks sa aking lolah abby na kahit super layo ay di ako nakakalimutan *sniff* sana e magkita na tayo kaya umuwi ka na d2 or pengeng pamasahe at ako ang pupunta jan, wehehehe :D

kurot sa puso..

usapan kaninang lunch..

opismeyt 1: ano ulam mo?

opismeyt 2: embutido na me sawsawang atsara saka itlog na maalat.. (marami pang ibang ulam..)

opismeyt 1: ang dami naman nyan.. e ano dessert mo?

opismeyt 2: leche flan saka ice cream.. kakasawa nga e, sabi ko sana magbuko-pandan man lang saka fruit shake..

opismeyt 3: ayos ah, kakagutom yang usapan nyo

opismeyt 1: nagpapagutom lang kami (sabay tawanan)


hindi ko maiwasang maalaala si erwin, yan kasi ang isa sa paborito nyang gawin noon, itanong kung ano ang ulam ko at dadagdagan ng kung ano-ano bago sya kumain..hindi ko alam kung bakit may kumurot pa rin sa puso ko..

pagtapos ng lunch, naalala kong sumilip sa frendster, matagal ko ng balak gawin ito pero nakakalimutan ko lang. ang dami ko na ngang pending frendster request at private messages. me inapprove din akong isang testi. gumawa rin ako ng testi para sa dati kong kasama sa pdi. sa pagbabrowse sa frendslist ko, nakita ko ang picture ng pinakamamahal nya, naisipan kong iyun ay tingnan. nakita kong may pangalawang ginawa syang testi para dito, 100% cute.

pinakiramdaman ko ang sarili ko. nagseselos ba ako? ang totoo, hindi ko alam. ang alam ko lang, may komunikasyon pa rin sila pagkatapos ng nangyari sa amin at ika nga ay good for him. ano kaya ang mangyayari sa huwebes? sa totoo lang, ang inaabangan ko na lang ay kung ano ang gagawin ng true love nya. sayang nga at bawal ang ym dito sa ofc, gusto ko sanang makausap ang true love nya pero marahil ay itinulot na rin ng Ama na wag muna kaming magkausap.

nakamove on na nga ba ako? sa tingin ko, oo. nanumbalik na ang aking interes sa guys at sa katunayan ay 2 ang crushes ko ngayon. good sign for me din yun dahil maiiwasan kong dibdibin ang crushes ko dahil 2 nga sila at syempre, maiiwasan ko ring mahulog sa kanila na baka maging one-sided lang. wala na rin akong pakialam sa kung ano ang nangyayari sa kanya. tanggap ko na ang kung ano mang nangyari sa amin at hindi ako nagsisisi sa mga naging desisyon ko. bagamat hindi ako sang-ayon ay naiintindihan ko sya at napatawad ko na rin sya. lesson learned na lang ang lahat ng iyon para hindi maulit sa ibang pagkakataon. hindi ko lang alam kung ano ang magiging reaksyon ko pag nagkita kami pero ipinauubaya ko na sa Ama ang lahat.

road accidents

yesterday, as my mom was crossing the street on her way to church, a motorcycle suddenly hit her from behind. lucky for us, me naglakas loob na lumapit para tulungan ang aking ina. buti at hindi rin tinakasan ng nakabundol sa kanya ang obligasyon. at ang higit na ipinagpapasalamat ko ay hindi naman sya nabalian ng buto, salamat sa Ama. maliban sa gasgas at pasa at shock, sabi ng doktor ay wala namang ibang naging pinsala sa kanya. sana ay magtuloy-tuloy na ang kanyang paggaling. naging daan din ang nangyari upang dalawin kami ng aking kapatid sa bago naming bahay.

kaninang umaga, sa aking pagpasok sa opisina ay nakabunggo naman ang dyip na aking sinasakyan ng isa pang sasakyan. buti na lang at hindi naman malakas, wala naman daw naging pinsala dun sa sasakyan kaya di rin kami nagtagal. kundi siguradong late ako, unang late ko simula ng ako'y pumasok dito.

ngayon, hindi ko alam kung bakit di pa rin naaalis ang aking kaba. naaalala ko noong ako'y nagmamaneho at naaksidente, at ang nangyari sa aking ina, at ang nangyari kaninang umaga, na mild lamang pero di ko alam kung bakit ganito ang naging impact sa akin...

You've Made Me Stronger

i walked up this morning with this song in my head...

You've Made Me Stronger
by Regine Velasquez

Is it hard to believe I?m okay
After all, it?s been awhile
Since you walked away
I?m way past crying
Over you finding someone new
You turned my days into nights (days into nights)
But now I see the light
And this maybe a big surprise to you

cause you made me stronger
By breaking my heart
You ended my life
And made a better one start
You taught me everything
From falling in love
To letting go of a lie
Yes, you made me stronger
Baby, by saying goodbye

If you rather believe I?m not over you
Go ahead
There?s nothing wrong with making believe
I know
Cuz I used to pretend you?d come back to me
But time has been such a friend
Brought me to my senses again
And I have you to thanked (I have you to thanked)
For setting me free (for setting me free)

Cuz you?ve made me stronger
By breaking my heart
You ended my life
And made a better one start
You taught me everything
From falling in love
To letting go of a lie
Yes, you?ve made me stronger
Baby, by saying goodbye

Think again
Don?t feel so sorry for me, my friend
Oh, don?t you know
I?m not the one who lose at end (I?m not the one)

Cuz you?ve made me stronger
By breaking my heart
You ended my life
And made a better one start
You taught me everything
From falling in love
To letting go of a lie
Yes, you?ve made me stronger
Baby, by saying goodbye

You ended my life
And made a better one start
You taught me everything
From falling in love
To letting go of a lie
Yes, you?ve made me stronger
Baby, by saying goodbye, goodbye
You?ve made me stronger
Baby, by saying goodbye

napatotohanan dito ang kasabihang "may tenga ang lupa, may pakpak ang balita"...

~~~~~~

naaawang-natatawa ako sa kanya. pero isa lang ang masasabi ko, ayaw kong malagay sa situation nya ngayon. at kung ano man ang pinagdadaanan nya ngayon ay bunga rin ng kagagawan nya

im dragging myself to go to work...im back to counting the days i have to stay in this company.. buti na lang at pagsamba na bukas, dun lang ako kumukuha ng lakas..