What a vacation

I couldn't help but think that my previous vacation was more stressful than relaxing. I always try to think of the happy stuffs but unfortunately, the happy stuffs are tinged with sad memories.

I believe that everything happens for a reason. During the weekend, I realized that what happened was just a way to show me who my real friends are. Glad I wasn't that close to them, but nevertheless, I was still hurt.

All I want right now is move on, be stress-free from their, or her clutch. I honestly don't mind anymore the extra costs I incurred. Not that I don't need the money. But I can earn the money back and I can charge my loss to experience. What's more important to me now is to be stress-free and be totally free from her. To be totally relieved and move on. No doubt she has moved on, she already have her pictures. And I think it's my right to move on myself. I'm not asking for much, am I?

Maybe it's really not meant to be

I think I've done everything I can. I'm sooo very tired already. If this doesn't work out, I'm ready to give up and move on.

FB Status

I'm not single and I'm not in a relationship. I'm just waiting for the one that have my heart. And how I miss him and miss feeling whole again...

Afraid...

Saw you online but I'm afraid to talk to you... funny I've never been afraid to talk to anybody before.. but I'm afraid now.. afraid that you'll block me... but I wanted to tell you this... you know what's funny? my mom loves you more than any of her offspring's spouses because she knows that you'll take care of me. and i know that too. but we can do nothing abt it :(

Together....

Together forever, Never apart, Maybe in distance, But never in heart.

I saw this from a friend's FB status and made me sad. The thought is very sweet and I remember the times our hearts are still together and now I wonder if they still are, or if they ever will be :(

Blocked!

I have a nagging thought that a once very close and special person blocked me from FB but only had the chance to verify it yesterday. Maybe it's because I'm occupied and always forgot to check it or maybe because deep inside, I'm not ready to know the answer. Learning that he blocked me made me sad but I understand him for doing it. But as I think about it, it made me more sad that somehow I cant reach out to him anymore. This morning, another realization occurred to me. I think he has also blocked me in YM. Which made my heart more heavy since I always logged as invisible but I always made the effort to be visible to him so that somehow I can still reach him. But now, I think it's senseless. Oh well....

After one week of silence...

After 1 week of not hearing from my would-be employer in my work-from-home job venture, I had received the formal job offer I'm waiting this morning.

Tomorrow is my last day in my current job and I'll start with my new venture on Monday. The coming days will be busy as I tend to some government papers and prepare myself to the start of a new beginning, career-wise.

Amidst all of these, there's one thing (or person) I'm really missing. But I know that God will provide for my needs.

After The Storm

The weather has improved now. The storm has passed. I hope my mom's health will follow. And I hope this means the same for all the things I'm going through now.

Trust God

Happy moments, praise God.
Difficult moments, seek God.
Painful moments, trust God.
Every moment, thank God.

I know that God will get me through this. Even if it's killing me now...

Virus Attack

Seems like everyone in this house is having problems. First, me and my mom. Next, my computer just cultured some virus which wont allow me to connect to the internet and making me format my laptop again. Then, our satellite tv cant get signal. Good thing local antenna is working. Oh well. I hope this is the last of the list of misfortunes and after this, all good things will happen.

Life is Too Short

I received a shocking news when I logged to YM this morning and talked to my friend at work. One of our colleagues, 10 years my junior, died in his sleep. It was said he had nightmares. His body was discovered 7:20am today.

It's really shocking. We're not that close but there are a lot of things he can still do. He's not even sick. I wish, before I go, I'll be able to do the things that I dreamed of.

Career Window

Ok, I've done it. After feeling unfulfilled and questioning where my career is going since the start of the year, I've tended my resignation today and will be staying here till end of June. I feel that I did the right thing, and I'm excited to start a new chapter of my life, career-wise. And looking forward to good results in other parts of my life

Weather and My Mood

The weather today reflects my mood.. gloomy with the rays of sunshine trying to peep in. I'll try to hold on to those bits of sunshine even when the weather around me is gloomy

closing chapters..

Last Thursday, I had made a decision that if nothing changes with how I feel, I'll be tending my resignation within 2 months. I decided to tell my supervisor about this the following day since he was not around on Thursday. It also gave me time to analyze my feelings after making that decision, and all I can feel was peacefulness about the decision.

Talking to him last Friday revealed to me that what I feel is what he feels in the organization. But he can't just leave the company that easy since he is friends with the owners. And I know as well as he knows that the owners really care for their people. Funny thing is, the manager, which doesn't own the company nor the money being paid to us is the one who is causing grief on the employees.

He was also offered to lead another team as the team leader of the said team has resigned and will be having his last day 2 weeks from now. The reason is also the said manager.

Now, there's something I've learned from a friend who had also tended her resignation. She said that said manager talked to her when she gave her resignation and she was sorry that she didn't wait for said manager to be on her maternity leave before giving in her resignation as was her original plan. The manager talked to her and made her feel so little. Now I had confirmed that it's really a part of her character to treat other people that way.. to make other people feel so little when she's talking.

Hopefully, when I give in my resignation, she won't be talking to me. Maybe I can use this when she did lol. Still, I don't want to leave the company with a sour note so I really hope that she will just accept my resignation when I give it in and not talk to me about it.

You

Found this in FB status shuffle which I can relate very much.

May not see you as often as I like, may not feel you hold me thru the night. But in my heart I truly know your the one for me, and right now that is all I need

Of course if I can have you with me right now, it would be fantastically fabulous!

Trust and Respect

Read this in one of my friend's Skype status:

It's nice to be trusted

and I definitely agree. And if that trust is broken, I can see no point in continuing the relationship. For me, any relationship is built on trust and with trust comes respect.

need something new

After working for more than 2 years in my current company, I need a change. I need something more fulfilling. I know I'm on a dead-end here but that was ok for me before. But now that workload is pouring, and I'm faced with either the same redundant, mundane tasks, or more documentation tasks, or more tasks that I have no idea of due to lack of proper orientation, my patience had become to run very thin. I no longer enjoy going to work and I know I need a change. I also need to change my outlook while I'm still here. I dont want to apply for another local job. I wish I can just be with MJ and start the new chapter of my life. But I know there are reasons for such. I know there will come the right time.

And now that I'm still here, I need to find something that will make me happy and fulfilled.

And with this, here's a song that somehow relates to what I feel.


Something New In My Life

I guess I wanted something new in my life
A new key to fit a new door
To wake and see a different view in my life
The one I've been waiting for
Dreams like everyone I've had a few in my life
Who knew that this one would come true in my life
I knew the moment when you touched me, you touched me
You're like a sudden breeze that blew in my life
A new face, a new smile, a new song
And now I know I wanted you in my life all along
I guess I must have saved an empty place in my heart
For you to come and fill that space in my heart
That long before I said I loved you, I love you

Whatever happens this is true in my life
When all those springs have come and go
Whatever doubts I've made or do in my life
Whatever else that I may do in my life
You'll always be something, girl, in my life
From now on
I know there always will be you in my life
From now on

Law of Friendship

I was feeling so down yesterday when a friend sent me this text message


Friendship has one law:

Never make your friends feel that they are alone

So,


Disturb them as much as you can. Hahaha


which lifted my spirits up. Thank you!

common dilemma but i wont fail

I never dreamed nor wished nor want to be in this position. I understand one of my colleague's concern and appreciate it. Though I think there's a better way of reminding a sister. But I'm not taking it against you. We all have our own styles, and we dont know each other that much.

I'm now faced in a dilemma I had witnessed happening a lot to different people. But I know that the reason I witnessed them is for them to be small (or big) lessons to me. Not to be blinded by emotions and put God above all else. I wont exchange God's love for the love of man. I went through a lot to fight for my religion, had learned the difference between right and wrong, had seen the light, and I wont give it up. I wont go back to being blind..

Pangyayari sa Bagong Taon

Happy New Year! Alam ko, may 10 araw na ng 2010 ang nakalipas, pero still, new year pa rin naman wehehehe. Share ko lang ang kababalaghang nangyari sa akin, o baka bunga na rin ng kunting katangahan wehehehe.

This is for those who want to get or renew their passport na hindi dumadaan sa agency. I went to DFA last Dec 29, 2009 to renew my passport. Hindi na ako dumaan sa agency since hindi naman ako nagmamadali plus mas tipid kung deretso na, and base sa mga naririnig ko e hindi naman ganun kahaba ang pila. Before I went there, I had the necessary requirements with me as stated sa website ng DFA

Facing the DFA building, don't walk on the right side bangketa kung saan maraming mga stalls ng kumukuha ng picture ID and nagxe-xerox. Dun kasi ako naglakad and ang daming mga nanghaharang na mga tao. Dere-derecho na nga lang ako at hindi ko pinapansin ang mga nanghaharang. Nung nasa may gate na ako, may isang lalake na nagpakita ng ID at taga DFA daw sya. Hiningi yung mga requirements ko at sabi na kulang daw ng thumb mark kaya pinapunta nya ako dun sa katabing tindahan para daw magpathumb mark. Sa tindahan, nag thumb mark na ako. Hiningi ang picture ko. Ang dala ko ay may white na background since yun ang nakalagay sa website nila. Dapat daw ay blue background so nagpapicture ako sa kanila for P160. After, niresibuhan ako ng P180, yung P20 daw ay para sa plastic ng passport. Pinagmatigasan ko na hindi ko kelangan ng plastic kaya P160 lang ang babayaran ko. Wala naman silang nagawa. Pagka-cut ng picture ko at ng madikit na sa forms, siningil ako ng P12 sa pagdidikit daw ng pictures. Tapos sa "Gate 2" na daw ang punta. May nakasabay ako na isang balikbayan, OFW sa middle east. Pagdating namin sa "Gate 2", agency pala yun. Base sa resibong binigay nila, sila ay ang RBC Travel & Tours na may address 215 CK SY Diamond Bldg., Libertad St., Pasay City. Nung nakuha ko ang resibo, dun na sumama ang loob ko dahil nalaman kong agency pala sila at pakiramdam ko ay naloko ako. Ang sinisingil sa akin ay P1,700, hindi pa kasama ang pagpapadala ng passport sa bahay. Pag gusto kong ipadala sa bahay yun ay magdadagdag ako ng P200.

Nung Jan 7, 2010 ay nag-appearance ako sa DFA. May nakasabay ako na first-time na kukuha ng passport. Talagang nag-agency sya at sa RBC nga. Nang makarating kami sa DFA, binilinan kami ng taga-agency na sumama sa amin na ang agency ko daw ay Yiapanda, at ang sa kasama ko ay EISEC (di ako sure kung tama ang spelling). Hindi daw RBC ang gagamitin namin. Hindi ko alam ang dahilan sa nasabing bilin, pero lumalabas na hindi rin ata sila authorized ng DFA?

Ayan, napahaba na, minsan lang naman ako mag-update ng blog e wehehehe. Maraming nangyari ng 2009 pero ang 3 sigurong pangyayari na di ko malilimutan ay ang: pagpanaw ng Ka Erdy, ang bagyong Ondoy, at ang pagpunta namin sa Bacolod.

Sa taong ito, ayun sa hula ng FB, ako ay isasakal wahahaha. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang naghihintay sa taong ito pero ngayong first quarter ng 2010 ay magiging abala ako sa mga bagay-bagay.

Sa ngayon, eto ang fave song ko, at napansin ko lang ito ng kinanta ni Judy Ann Santos sa ASAP XV kahapon

The Climb lyrics
Songwriters: Alexander, J; Mabe, J;

I can almost see it
That dream I am dreaming
But there's a voice inside my head saying
"You'll never reach it"

Every step I'm taking
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking

But I gotta keep trying
Gotta keep my head held high

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

The struggles I'm facing
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes might knock me down
But no, I'm not breaking

I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I'm gonna remember most, yeah
Just gotta keep going

And I, I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on

'Cause there's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb, yeah!

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Somebody's gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb, yeah!

Keep on moving, keep climbing
Keep the faith, baby
It's all about, it's all about the climb
Keep the faith, keep your faith, whoa